"It happened so fast," said one dazed local man, Jared M., 37.
Waves of cocksucking are being reported tonight across multiple counties and states.
Details are still coming in.
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| "I didn't know what happened"--- Jared |
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| "Like somebody rang a bell" two out-of-town men claim |
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| Man stays calm, knows "just what to do" |
No injuries have been reported.
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| "I don't know what came over me" says area man apprehended sucking cock |
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| "Oh yeah I do" he tells secret panel |
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| "Defenses down" warns military |
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| Work stoppages |
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| "Bringing the world to its knees" crows one exultant cocksucker |
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